What to Do When the Turkey Baster is Basted…

Pan left from this view and you can see how many empty growlers are on the kitchen table…

How do you get your Thanksgiving Turkey safely from the roasting pan to the carving board? Your crispy, tender, perfectly cooked bird is at risk of taking a spectacular dive onto the kitchen floor- it’s probably twenty pounds of hot, slippery yumminess.

And what if the head Turkey Chef is cooked? And all the other family Sous Chefs are probably equally toasted by this time in the family’s day, too.

You think ahead and equip your kitchen with the equivalent of a Turkey Gaff, that’s what you do!

This bird was perfect, by the way… way to go, Chef!

This Good Grips Poultry Lifter is a good idea, way better than the two wooden spoons that we have traditionally shoved unceremoniously into either end of the bird… ouch! We hardly knew him, after all, how rude! But seriously, anyone with grip issues (arthritis, strength, etc…) will appreciate the big, rubber, ball-shaped grip at one end and the fork-y hooks,  general physics, and gravity proved that this design is way better than two flimsy spoons.

I should thank the family for letting me throw them under the bus in the name of humor (“Artistic License,” is just another way of exaggerating for the sake of a good laugh, really).

Is It Curtains for My Parents’ GROOVY Wallpaper???

My parents have been doing a lot of remodeling, so I thought I’d feature one of their projects tonight. Because really- look at this awesome wallpaper. I said they should keep it, but instead of listening to me, I got told what I could do with my opinion…

I lobbied hard for this wallpaper to be saved because just THINK HOW DELIGHTED SOMEONE will be to purchase a home with vintage 1978 foil wallpaper when they finally sell this home eventually! Notice Mom modeling the best of two centuries-  iPhone in hand, vintage 1970’s wallpaper behind her.

This stuff is too groovy to retire, don’t get rid of it! People love vintage accessories in vintage homes!

*****Six Months Later*****

And here’s the finished room… notice how some of the wallpaper is still in the hallway:

TA DAH!!!!! Looking good, ‘rents!

Powder Room? More like Power Room!
But don’t worry, there’s still the bathroom! I’m sure it’s days are numbered, though…

A Glimpse into Halloween Futures

I frightened myself on Halloween. Scared myself enough to talk a neighbor into planning a Haunted House for next year.

What could have been so startling?

imagesI forgot to carve a Jack O’lantern, The Boy was at a weekend retreat and The Girl still away at college.

“Boo hoo hoo,” cried the sad mom!

I can’t remember a year where I didn’t carve a pumpkin… even when I was in college I still lived at home and had fun passing out candy for my parents. They were quite done with the doorbell as the average age and height of the Trick-or-Treaters kept increasing and increasing.

imgresGood rule of thumb, people: if you can shave, you probably shouldn’t be on the receiving end of Halloween… it’s tons o’ fun to fill the kiddie’s bags and set up haunted houses for the neighborhood, too.

Next year I will be ready… I’m jotting down ideas for decorating and clever trick to share with our neighborhood’s little ones. A smaller child-friendly spooky yard display would be good for the kids around us. Share ideas? What should I have for a non-terrifying haunted house next year? It was scary enough not having my own two children around for the first time in 18 years. BOO!


(Found all these photos by doing web search for “sad Jack O’Lanterns.” Click any photo to go to their original site!)